The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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