Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Randomize
