Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
