i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
