its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
