in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
