Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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