i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
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