trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
