So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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