is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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