just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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