The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
And then he peed in my hair
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