all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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