Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
that's an acceptable place to lick
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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