afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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