so explain again why im purple
no
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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