eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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