The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
