so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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