I think im going to throw up on grandma
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
