So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
