I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
