you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
