i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
