I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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