yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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