He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
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