Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
