She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
