I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
