okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
