Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
