i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
