I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
