We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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