I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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