He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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