sarcasm needs its own font
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
