Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
