dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
