i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
