I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
