Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
