It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
