Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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