you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
we're so committed to being not committed
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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