the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I'm having to shit out rocks
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
