i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
