the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
